I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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