So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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