whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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