can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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