I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
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1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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