it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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