honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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