and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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