i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
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I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
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Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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