i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize