we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
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walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
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I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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