I got chris browned last night
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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