We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize