i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize