Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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