Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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