girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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