Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize