I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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