he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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