lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
40s are totally the cure
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize