yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize