I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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