I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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