Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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