I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize