nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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