new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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