You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize