They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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