Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize