i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize