He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
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His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
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Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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