You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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