So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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