he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize