thus making me awesome and them whores
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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