My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
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My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
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He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize