He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize