I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize