just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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