ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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