I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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