You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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