I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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