I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize