If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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