CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize