you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
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We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
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I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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