Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize